I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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