so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
My dad just said "fuck circus"
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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