I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Randomize
