It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
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