Rock
Scissors
Fuck
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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