thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Randomize