everyone is single if you try hard enough
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
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