No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize