It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
They took my balls.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
