my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
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