Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
