go do what you do best...puke behind churches
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Randomize
