btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
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