you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Randomize
