if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
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