Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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