I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
Come see our sink grown plant.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
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