i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize
