you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
