I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Randomize