he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
i just made my gag reflex go away.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Randomize
