used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
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