the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
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