you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Randomize
