he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
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