Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
no more duck duck goose at the bar
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
