Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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