Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Randomize
