I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
Randomize
