so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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