I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
Randomize
