everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
