hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
