I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
The convent might be a nice break from real life
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
