Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
