I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Randomize
