i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
