the condom got lost in my hair
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
