Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Randomize