I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Randomize
