oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Randomize
