Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
