How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I need to sanitize my soul.
I am available for nakedness
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
