good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Randomize
