Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
