I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
