Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize