He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
time to smoke my breakfast
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
