question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Come share oat with me in your robe
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
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