Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
