i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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