Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize
