It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
