Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
