Define "chronic" masturbator.
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
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