I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
