I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
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