party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Randomize
