If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Randomize
