I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Randomize
