Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
Randomize
