Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize
