drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
